Drag Bingo with Sis Jenner

The first Sunday was for resting.
The second Sunday was for fashion.
The third Sunday? IS FOR BINGO, BABY.

That’s right, bingo baddies, Sis Jenner is bringing Drag Bingo to Padrona on the third Sunday of every month, because nothing builds community like screaming “O-69!” in a room full of sexually frustrated adults who compost recreationally.

With dad jokes this predictable, we thought the schedule might as well be predictable too.

So shimmy into your sparkliest kaftan (or that suspiciously expensive raw-denim situation you bought after one trip to Kingston), lace up your Blundstones (if you’re nasty), and sashay over to Padrona for an evening of mild depravity and aggressive number-calling.

This is where we reclaim the phrase:
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

Here’s what you need to know:
– $10 gets you a pack of 5 bingo cards
– All prizes are lovingly hot-glued together from things I panic-bought at the dollar store
– All jokes are 100% certified cruelty (with light emotional scarring at no extra charge)

There will be innuendo.
There will be shouting.
There will be at least one moment where you question whether this counts as foreplay.
And yes: if you lock eyes over a near-miss on B-8 and feel a sudden urge to co-parent backyard chickens together, that’s not on me. That’s the Hudson Valley.

Third Sundays. Padrona.
Come thirsty. Leave victorious. Or at least slightly dismayed.